Thomas Site. It's A Place to Go.

I found out yesterday that my friend Ray Voorhies passed away a few weeks back. I am stunned, to say the least.

Ray and I were two most unlikely friends: he a cranky redneck cuss, me the sensitive new age guy. And we crossed each other regularly. But somehow, we always found a way to reconnect and see each other in a loving light. Like brothers, we came back together to share our ups and downs.

Ray was a man who came across as a real tough cookie, but beneath that hard outside was a gentle man who was really very sensitive. His public persona was that gruff, take no shit, oil refinery worker, but dig a little, and you would have found a sweet person. Okay, you probably had to dig quite a bit, since Ray had perfected his exterior pretty well. But I was privileged to get to see that other Ray; he allowed me in to see that other Ray. And I learned a lot about life from Ray.

I learned from Ray that in life you really have to keep coming back. Ray had serious struggles in his life that would overwhelm him, and he'd disappear for stretches of time, but he kept coming back and trying again. He showed me what happens when you keep coming back, and his willingness to practice that inspires me to do the same.

I learned acceptance from Ray. Ray struggled to accept himself, and as I watched him struggle, I learned to accept him as he was—maddening flaws and all—and to love him as he was. One of his favorite parts of the AA Big Book was the section on acceptance (mine, too).

I learned that you can never have enough gratitude.

I learned that things in life are never as simple as they might appear, but when you boil it all down, life itself is simple.

I know that I've heard and read many of these things in other places in my life, but Ray made me live them and experience them directly. For that, I am truly grateful.

Ray, I will miss you. These words only begin to express my feelings.

Love,
David